This is a dump of a bunch of quotes and funny comments I have from various places. Unfortunately I have misplaced most of the original authors, so if one of these quotes is yours and you want it removed/attributed, let me know. There are also some links in here, so enjoy!

Think twice before "stop, drop, and roll", as the floor may be on fire.

If I gave you a date I'd only go and miss it like valve.

A++ would stubbornly agree with propaganda again.

These are the healthiest crisps I've ever come across, mostly because I can't get the bag open

there is usually a third one just... hanging about

This is straightforward and reliable, so I assume it has been eliminated from the computing world.

Give a man a fire, and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

And somehow we humans can invent scanning-probe microscopes that can "see" individual atoms, yet still can't invent a machine that can reliably scan tests not taken with a #2 pencil.

Is this real?
>I have more useful things to do than photoshop 48 pictures of a fake calculator. ~Kerm Martin

It would just be much better if it were not shitty.

Playing God is a good, old-fashioned American tradition. And you wouldn't want to ruin tradition. Unless you hate America. And that would make you a Communist.


Typewriters with voice recognition have existed for over one hundred years; they were called secretaries.

You know the C code you're trying to compile is bad if only g++ can compile it.

This Is Ramp Country, or the architecture of dubious racing physics

travers101: Yep, there's mercury, chromium, maybe lead, there's a lot of shit that can off gas that is very damaging to humans

if the real object is "I'm going to poison the next person to use this oven" then knock your socks off. Because that's what you're gonna do.

If you're a beginner programmer with no skills or talent and feeling discouraged, take heart: There's always a job for you at Adobe.


There is no racial bigorty here. Here you are all equally worthless

The scholarly authorities on freezing to death seem to be, unsurprisingly, Canadians.

He eventually convinced the owner to leave the braces in place by using an engineer’s most powerful rhetorical device: purposefully indecipherable technical jargon intended to confuse the other party into submission.


This is one example of why home 3D printing is still a hobby, not a solution. Don’t buy one expecting a machine that magically creates objects when you push a button. It’s more like a machine that magically creates migraines and you have to push thousands of buttons for the privilege.

Yesterday morning I came in and one of our PCs was sitting there, rebooted, with an error message ("No keyboard, press F1 to continue": the world's best error message).  Its keyboard was unplugged.

Java will die a slow and miserable death about a hundred years from now.

If it ain't broke, you ain't trying.

It might technically be a real feature, but we’ve gone past diminishing returns and sailed straight into the the sea of meaningless numbers.

[about windows 10]
100% of my games work on 7. I'm not upgrading shit.

Whatever they're calling the “new black,” forget about it. Only black is black, and nothing's blacker than black, and black goes with everything.

I’ve had to block 10-30% of users on other gaming websites powered by Disqus just so that I can read the comments section without having an anime-induced epileptic fit. ~fray_bento

A long time ago, far far away, in a distant galaxy, something happened but ...
... nobody knows what exactly happened because it is too fuckin far away. ~Drygol

Remaking a game that’s ten years old inside a game that’s five years old still slightly puzzles me. ~Alice O' Connor, RPS

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